Steve's guest post

So I offered to come up with a guest post for this blog. However, as my own readers have likely noticed by now, I don't have anything important to say. I figure that since a picture is worth a thousand words, and ASCII art is worth a thousand pictures, the best way to convey meaning through a guest post is with some ASCII art.

             
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   @| -| (O) |------| (O) |- |@     | Every night, I dream of |
   @|   -----  |  |  -----   |@     |    www.stevekwan.com    |
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          DICKOLAS WANG

EDIT (June 2, 2005): Steve has asked me to make the eyes blink, and I have happily obliged.

Fun with graduation

I spent the better part of the last two days at UBC watching friends graduate. Here are a few highlights:

• 

  (One of these things is not like the others.)

  Dr. Richard Anstee: "These are the Caltech colours."
  Dr. Rajiv Gupta: "These are MIT's colours. They're much nicer."





• 

  Jon Woodward: "Wait. YOU'RE Dickolas Wang?!"
  me: "YOU'RE _jonjuan_?!"





• 

  Vikram: "Wait, you mean I didn't guess tranny first?"





• 

  Victor: "No, I guessed that two days ago."





• 

  Regan: "Who the hell reserved all these seats?"





• 

  Spencer: "There was supposed to be some cupping happening on stage, but I got caught on my gown."





• A historic first meeting between Spencer Keys and myself.

  Spencer Keys, AMS President: "I don't snort coke."
  me: "I don't have a wang the size of a bowling ball."

  

  Taken shortly after we decided it was far more interesting when he snorted coke and I had a gigantic wang, and shortly before I offered the use of said enormous wang for to snort a line of coke off of.





• 

  

  

  me: "You weren't supposed to exhale!"
  Adam: "What do you mean, I'm not supposed to exhale?"
  me: "My glasses almost fogged up!"





• The more things change...

  

  

  ... the more they stay the same.

  

  

Congratulations everyone.

Current Music: The New Pornographers - Electric Version

EDIT (May 31, 2005): Due to widespread browser crashing, the pictures have been toned down to a very crappy quality. If you want good copies just let me know.

What's Wang This Week

Check out the UBC Math department's people page, under "Visitors". Hey look, that's me! I'm moving on up. I even get my own mailbox, and if I want, a key to the mailroom.

Tomorrow is the math graduation ceremony, where I shall watch my homeboys Balin and Billy-Daniel graduate, as well as my homegirl Eva. Represent. Then, assuming Travis isn't in jail or something, back to Memphis Blues, where the surly dude who cuts the meat will either not recognize me or spit in my food. Good times.

Surprise surprise: while searching for Riverside graduates on Lavalife.com, Graham and I stumbled upon one Kathleen Pennykid. I can't tell you how tempted I am to call her up to see how she's doing. And I'm not nearly mean enough to do this, but it would be pretty fun to say something like, "Hi! You remind me of someone I used to know, she was cool." And then something about "This time it might even last 2 weeks!" Even though I definitely won't do that, I have no idea how I would broach the subject. "Hi, Kathleen, I saw your personal on Lavalife while Graham and I were searching for Riverside graduates under a fake name" isn't quite friendly enough.

Current Music: Tenacious D - Wonderboy

Things at home I didn't miss at all #4

Thing at home I didn't miss at all #4: Chantal Kreviazuk

Not one iota.

Current Music: Chantal Kreviazuk - Before You

Oh

Never mind.

Current Music: The Tragically Hip - Gift Shop

Hey, wha' happened?

Hey, where'd my blog go?

Current Music: Spoon - Gimme Fiction

Notes from the trip

• I remember being excited about Goof Troop.

  -- AP

• I can't read or write.

  -- AP

• There is a Christian rock station called 105.5 The Fish around Redding, CA.
• Tesla is playing the Douglas County fairgrounds August 12.

• The phone smelled.

  -- RL

• Nothing is more satisfying than passing someone on the inside.
• The drive up I-5 feels a lot like a really long game of Rad Racer.
• The only thing really worth ordering at the Sizzler is the salad bar.
• Ask Adam about his ex-girlfriend Cheryl.
• There is nothing going on in South Mt. Shasta City. However there is a 76 gas station in Central Mt. Shasta City.
• There is both a South and a Central Weed.
• Adam has an ass-range of 200 miles.

• Nobody likes you.

  -- AP

Current Music: Brian Wilson - Smile

On the road again

Adam and I have now spent two and a half days in close quarters. Tomorrow we head for home with no MP3 player, no CD player, only the sound of each other's voices to keep us company, and a printout from Google Maps. By the end of the trip we will have spent at least five days together.

Wish us luck.

I have friends

The winner of the 2004/2005 inaugural Race To Berkeley is Adam Pauls.

Pauls hails from Abbotsford, BC and is perhaps best known for his genetic purity. He made an appearance on the cover of the Vancouver Sun in the summer of 2000 and holds a Bachelor's degree in combined honours computer science and physics.

Despite a good start, Pauls' victory did not come without adversity. Overcoming a flight delay longer than his flight and a laptop battery that died before he could watch all of "Collateral", starring Jamie Foxx and Tom Cruise, Pauls still cruised to a solid victory, winning the race by at least 2 months over his closest competitor.

To commemorate his victory, I gave him a glass of milk and forgot to buy breakfast foods for him to eat.

Congratulations to the winner, and to the rest of you, I hate you all so much.

Current Music: AC Newman - Miracle Drug

My cup runneth over

My first year as a PhD student is now over.

Eric's jazz combo is going on tour in the summer and they have asked me permission to play Rocky and Bullwinkle on tour.

I don't know which I'm more excited about.

Current Music: Spoon - I Turn My Camera On

T-minus 12 hours until 205

It's go time, bitch.

Current Music: Simon and Garfunkel - Bridge over Troubled Water

A call to arms

Friends, countrymen, lend me your ears.

I am in need of the following:

1. One ticket to the UBC math graduation ceremony, so I can watch my old math homies graduate
2. One ticket to the CS graduation ceremony, so I can watch my old CS homies graduate
3. As many volunteers as possible to wear Richard is the Sex! t-shirts, so as to beat down Eric

Who will help me bake this bread?

Help a brother out.

Current Music: Nine Inch Nails - The Hand that Feeds

Current status

Exam status

• 26 questions
• 5 required
• ~ 13 done

The Richard Stress Index has been lowered from Elevated to Guarded

Computer status

Hold together, baby, hold together

Blogosphere status

Guest-posted on stevekwan.com

Food status

Out of vegetables, still have 8 cans of chicken broth

Minesweeper Flags status

Richard is hot: ~10-3 in last ~13 games

Social status

Holding at math dork

Current Music: The New Pornographers - Twin Cinema

Math humour

Exercise 4.3, Section 3.4: Renewal Theory, "Probability: Theory and Examples", 3rd ed., Rick Durrett:

Customers arrive at times of a Poisson process with rate 1. If the server is occupied, they leave. (Think of a public telephone or prostitute.)

Current Music: Sloan - It's In Your Eyes

What's Wang This Week

As I settle in for a good long week of probability take-home exam work, I figured I'd leave the usual weekly roundup of what's Wang this week.

Since I learned how to play "Coax Me" I can't stop listening to Sloan. I just found out that "Twice Removed" was declared by Chart magazine to be the best Canadian album of all time again, and since I didn't bring that album to Berkeley I celebrated by listening to "Action Pact" and was greatly saddened. Now I'm listening to their new single "All Used Up"; the irony would be delicious if it weren't so sad.

Today's Garfield is the first I've seen to take advantage of the table that they're always inexplicably sitting behind. Maybe Jim Davis is reading my blog too.

Something else interesting must have happened to me because I sat down to write this, but I can't remember right now and I should get to work. Gruelling, unrewarding, thankless work. If you, dear readers, don't hear from me in 7 days, please tell my parents I love them.

Current Music: Sloan - All Used Up

T-minus 12 hours until 215

It's go time, bitch.

Current Music: Sloan - All Used Up

Random quotes from my past, provided without context #19

Maybe you're smarter than I thought you were.

-- Dr. Edwin Perkins

Current Music: Sloan - The Other Man

Current Thought: I sure hope I am

Sense of accomplishment

After 7 years, I have finally figured out how to play "Coax Me" by Sloan.

Thumbs up.

Current Music: Sloan - Coax Me

Random quotes from my past, provided without context #18

Can we fill it with fried chicken?

And laaaaaadies?

-- Ben Tippett

What's more annoying than blinking text?

This is.

Thumbs down.

(This post is best viewed in Firefox)

Current Music: A-Ha - Take On Me

The calm before the storm

In second year I spent probably a good several weeks in Math 215 (differential equations, bitch) trying to figure out what cereals I had never eaten. I miss those days, when classes were easier and I didn't get so worked up over exams. To commemorate those simpler, innocent-er days I thought I'd try to reproduce that list.

Cereals I have never had (or don't remember having):

• Alpha-Bits
• Fruity Pebbles
• Corn Chex
• Toasty-Os
• Wheaties
• Apple Jacks
• Kix
• Life
• Total
• Cap'n Crunch's Crunch Berries
• Trix
• Rice Chex

Starting tomorrow I have a take-home exam in my stats class; the day I hand that in is the final exam. Immediately before said final exam, I receive the take-home exam in my probability class; the day I hand that in is the day I take the final exam in that class. Immediately after that I have to move and drive home; somewhere in there I have to finish one more probability assignment and finish up my website work for the semester.

Who wants to play Minesweeper?