Where have you been all my life, Facebook group "Mediocre NHLers of the 1990s"?

As I get closer to my qualifying exam, the work just piles up. Unfortunately, the energy is wearing down, and so I find myself sitting idly at a computer more than I should. I'm in one of my "the internet bores me!" phases where I am stuck in a rut of reading maybe four websites a day and then re-reading them because I don't want to bother typing in any other URLs.

Naturally, I turn to Facebook. Especially of late, with Facebook seemingly catching on back home, there's been a flurry of activity there. However, every time I visit Facebook it seems like I go there with the expectation that I will get hours of entertainment, when really, it provides minutes. So, I keep going back there, hoping for some kind of momentous news on my News Feed. Almost always, there isn't, so I just return a poke (or two) and log back out.

That is, until I found "Mediocre NHLers of the 1990's", which has the potential to provide me with the hours of entertainment I so desire. Mind you, there are people who don't seem to grasp the difference between mediocrity and downright sucking¹, as well as that between the 1990s and other decades. Still, there are true gems of mediocrity in there, and every single one of them warms my heart.

Looking through the pictures in the group (all posted under the requirement that the name of the player be given -- "REMEMBER, THEY'RE MEDIOCRE, WHO'S GONNA RECOGNIZE THEM") takes me back to NHL 94, where players were conveniently distilled down to a single number describing how likely they were to score when they shot/stop a shot. The comments kill me too. So far, the players and comments include:

• Bob Corkum


• Guy Hebert


• Terry Yake, a personal favourite


• Michel Petit, who IIRC was rated in the 50s in NHL 94, which is the truest measure of mediocrity


• Dave Babych: "Possibly the slowest player in NHL 93"


• Troy Gamble: a commenter suggests that if Las Vegas ever gets its NHL franchise, longtime Canuck backup Gamble and Maxim Bets are there for the ceremonial puck drop


• Sergei Krivokrasov: "For some reason, he was apparently good enough to have the scoring stick icon on NHL 2001."


• Rick Tabaracci


• Paul Ysebaert

Also on the group is a discussion on the best hockey names ever. I'd have to suggest Dale Hawerchuk myself, but it's hard to argue with Hnat Dominichelli, Zarley Zalapski, and Hakan Loob.

And I'm only on #231 of over 750! Thank you, Facebook.

Current Music: Elvis Costello - Pump It Up

1. Disclaimer: every single one of these players is far better at hockey than I am. I can't skate backwards. I can barely skate forwards.