Jowen's guest post: Laundry fresh

I,DW "Features Week" continues with another time-honoured tradition: the guest post. This one is by Jowen, one of my most frequent guest-posters. -- DW

I recently bought an air freshener for my office. It's one of those Glad Plugins that has five different smell strength settings. The only oil choices available were Hawaiian breeze and laundry fresh. I went with laundry fresh, but I should have chosen Hawaiian breeze so that I can wear a Hawaiian shirt, a lei, drink a pina colada and pretend that I'm working in Hawaii.

Now when people enter my windowless office, they are no longer greeted by the stale smell of sweaty bike clothes mixed with ass-on-chair sweat mixed with week old garbage. Instead they can enjoy the above smells mixed with fresh laundry. It's not much better.

The Fiscally Unsound Misadventures of Richard Liang

Yet another call from a debt collector for a Mr. Richard Liang, 65 years old, of Danville, California. Dammit man, get your shit together.

It couldn't have worked out better, because as you may have noticed, my plan for this week was a "Features Week" during which I will do one of all my old features -- WWTW, Random Quotes, Note to self, Things at home I don't miss at all/am glad to be rid of, Pet Peeves (or, What's Wrong With Wang), etc. -- and this gives me a perfect opportunity to revisit one.

Speaking of which, can anyone else think of features that I haven't done in a while that I could do now? (I've thought of Delayed Reaction, guest posts from Steve and Jowen, What [quiz result] are YOU?, and LUGsWang, which I plan to do by the end of the week.)

Current Music: Spoon - The Two Sides of Monsieur Valentine

Things at home I don't miss at all #6

Interac

Really, having your debit card be a Visa card is so much better.

Current Music: Spoon - Stay Don't Go

Pet Peeve (or, What's Wrong With Wang) #8

I really hate Eric Clapton's acoustic version of "Layla". But not as much as I hate Pet Peeve #8:

when people have never heard the original version of Layla, which is awesome, and then tell me that I'm playing it wrong because they only know the shitty acoustic version.

I really hate that.

What's Wang This Week

Some of you have been asking if I've been blogging recently, and the answer is no. If you owned a Wii and The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess, you wouldn't blog either.

I'm about 25 hours into Zelda and I'm still nowhere near done. I have been toying with the idea of just doing nothing but playing Zelda for a weekend, by the end of which I should be either done or pretty close to done. Then I could get on with my life, and spend my evenings with my newly arrived Arrested Development DVDs and with Steely Dan (the band, not the dildo).

After Vince ordered Wiimotes on Nintendo's website and they shipped well before they were supposed to, I jumped at the opportunity to end the Wii accessory hunt before it even got off the ground and did the same. I debated, because of how expensive the Wiimote+nunchuk combination is, whether or not I should get a full complement of 4 sets. In the end I decided though that since in the past I've benefitted greatly from my friends having four controllers for their GameCubes/X-Boxes/etc., this was my opportunity to give back and I should do so. I plunked down the order for 2 Wiimotes and 3 nunchuks (another Wiimote comes in February with my preordered copy of Wii Play), and despite the website saying that Wiimotes would be on backorder until Jan. 29, they arrived yesterday. I had some friends over and we put them through their paces; Super Monkey Ball really is better with three controllers.

Of course, since I forked over the cash for these controllers, I get permanent first-game privileges. Deal with it.

Besides that, work and school are busy as always. It's difficult, but I think I've managed to strike a balance between work/school and Zelda. Unfortunately, "sleep" and "nutrition" do not figure in this balance. I find myself eating a whole lot of food out of jars and plastic trays. At first I felt a little bad, but then I decided to just run with it, so when I had a big craving for crappy white-boy instant ramen the other day, I actually made a specific trip to Safeway for $2 worth of Mr. Noodles. (I justified it as my own little memorial for Momofuku Ando, inventor of the instant noodle.) Unfortunately, they didn't have any Mr. Noodles, so I had to settle for a brand called "Maruchan". (EDIT (1:35AM Jan. 28, 2007): Mr. Noodles is a Canadian brand. Who knew?) On the bright side, I got 8 packs for $1.25. Unfortunately, as it always is with instant ramen, one serving of ramen is enough to put you off ramen for an indefinite amount of time, so now I'm stuck with a bunch of ramen that I have no urge to ever eat. Fortunately, as it always is with ramen, I'll inevitably have another craving and eat them -- I'm predicting before spring break.

Gourd shot! (A record of how much better Adam is than me at squash)

The new semester has brought the return of the weekly Adam-Richard squash clash, and I have started the semester with victories in our first two matches. While this is nothing new, they are nonetheless notable because these are the first times that I have won matches against him without the benefit of him forfeiting. So, for the Spring 2007 semester, the record stands at:

Adam 3, Richard 5

Also, I've been jamming with some guys from the department. I was originally the lead singer (due to my unstoppable charisma) and bass player, but the rhythm guitar player saw an old Madness video and was inspired to play the bass, plus he convinced me that bass players shouldn't be lead singers (e.g. Sting, the dude from Winger). So, we swapped instruments. That's fine by me, because I've decided that I don't really like playing the bass that much. We call ourselves "Student's T and the Hypotheses". I'm Student's T.

Someone suggested that each member of the band choose one song that we should try to play. As the lead singer, I should probably pick something that makes me look good. Suggestions?

Current Music: Steely Dan - Babylon Sisters

Random quotes from my past, provided without context #39

That's why I like you, Rich: because you don't cost me money.

-- Derek Tsang

Current Music: Steely Dan - Everyone's Gone To The Movies

And now...

N-n-n-note to self

Today is Mike's birthday.

Happy birthday, Mike!

Current Music: Steely Dan - Rikki Don't Lose That Number

Note to self

It's Graham's, Jowen's, and Paul's birthdays.

Happy birthday Graham, Jowen, and Paul.

What Was Wang This Month

Yeah, so I didn't write much the last four weeks. Sue me.

I was on holidays. Hooray for holidays! I spent much time with friends and family. I did some stuff. I hunted for a Wii. I bought a Wii. I lost at poker, and rather miserably, I might add. I drove to the airport all by myself for the first time. I also learned not to park at the airport for several hours if you can avoid it.

I experienced the strange weather in the Lower Mainland first-hand. I had heard about the damage at Stanley Park from the hurricane-force winds, but I wasn't expecting to see that many trees broken and blown down in my hometown Port Coquitlam. It was weird to look out at a field of trees and see 30% of them in pieces. I was sitting in the living room playing Zelda during a windstorm when I looked across the street and noticed that the tree in the yard was at a rather precarious 20 degree angle from upright. A few minutes later I looked back and noticed that it was at an even more precarious 30 degree angle from upright. This raised some concern, but then I just kept playing Zelda.

Wii = good. Wii hunting = bad. Incidentally, if any of my friends in Berkeley are reading this, if you see any Wiimotes and nunchuks on sale at normal price ($40 and $20 each), please buy one of each on the spot and I will pay you back. Think of it as helping me help you. I am looking for two Wiimotes and three nunchuks. (Incidentally, I just noticed that the URL for that post is "fucking-wii.html".)

My first day of Wii hunting was particularly frustrating, as not only did I fail to find one, I also failed to find a jar of Vegemite at Superstore which I fully expected to have Vegemite in the imported foods aisle, given that they have Tim Tams. I realized what a terrible shopper I am that day, as I failed first to find something that everybody wants, and then I failed to find something that nobody wants. Fortunately, thanks to Allan I now have a jar of Vegemite direct from Australia, and I can now say that I prefer it over the Marmite I bought at Save-On-Foods at home. My breakfast was 6 Vegemite (open-faced) sandwiches. That reminds me, I should go drink some water.

I also got sick, which cost me my voice for a few days. Actually it might have been fine but two Fridays ago instead of sleeping in and recovering all day I got up at 7:30AM to take my mom to work during the first snowfall of my holiday so I would have the car, with which I went to the mall to (futilely) hunt the elusive Wii, and then drove to the airport to see off my good friend and former roommate Brad to New Zealand (not this Brad), where he has a permanent job. This did my throat no favours, but at least I did finally get some respect from Derek for my Mario Kart skills when I managed to transfer them to an actual car and kept us from getting crashed into by an idiot driver who decided that turning into full-speed traffic at a non-intersection would be a good idea. (It was great, I slammed on the brakes, corrected the car's skidding on the slushy roads, pounded on the horn, and shook my fist at the driver all in one fluid motion. I did forget to look in the rearview as I slammed on the brakes though, which would have been bonus points. Kids, always scan the rearview every 5 seconds to keep an eye on traffic behind you.) However, my throat also cost me the opportunity to go spend the next day with Adam and a friend of his who was visiting Vancouver from Berkeley and is, reportedly, a girl.

I saw Body Worlds 3 at Science World with the LUGs and Rachel. Apparently it's a hot ticket. Who knew? I'm used to just showing up to Science World whenever I damn well feel like it. Anyway, it was interesting, morbid, disturbing, and raised some ethical questions, so I guess I got my money's worth.

When I got back to Berkeley I saw that my copy of Sloan's "Never Hear The End Of It" had come while I was away. I looked in the package and lo and behold, I got an autographed case! Turns out I was one of the first 100 people in the US to pre-order the album, so now I have all four Sloaners' autographs! Hooray for Yep-Roc! Hooray for Sloan! Hooray for autographs!

Okay I'm gonna go play Zelda now.

Current Music: The Decemberists - O Valencia!

Babe, ain't I good to you

I'm sorry, Nintendo Wii. Baby, I was angry and I said some things I didn't mean. You understand, it was just the hurt talking.

I love you, Nintendo Wii.

I love you long time.