What's Wang This Week

This little guy is What's Wang This Week. Little Thomas has really become the centre of our universe in the last week or so. Actually the week has felt like months, because it goes by in three-hour chunks: Thomas wakes up from a nap, Thomas plays a bit, someone feeds Thomas, someone burps Thomas, Thomas takes a nap. I find the little guy to be infinitely entertaining, and if you're wondering why I'll be talking to you on MSN and then disappear without warning for about 15-30 minutes, it's because I've gotten a chance to grab him away from my mother and feed, burp, or play with him. If you're wondering, the harness in the picture is a Jolly Jumper, a time-tested contraption which allows babies to hang suspended by a spring from a doorframe so that they can learn to jump and build their leg muscles. Every time Thomas gets in the thing, he looks at us as if to ask, "Why am I standing up? What's going on? Why are you doing this to me?"

I've become obsessed with getting him to smile at me. He unfailingly smiles for my mother and grandmother, but whenever he looks at me, he sort of blankly stares at me for about 2 seconds, then looks away. I don't think he likes me very much. I have become pretty good with burping him, though; I find that he will now stare at me and make a certain high-pitched bleating sound (think of R2D2 under duress) when he needs to be burped. I hope that somewhere deep down, while he may be utterly bored of me, he might have a certain respect for my presence. My sister says that he seems to associate me with eating now, anyway, and that's alright. One day, I'll take him to Memphis Blues.

Thomas is a very cute baby,

but he's also very very large for his age. Today we went to a barbecue and there were babies there that were 6 months old and one year old. Thomas is younger at only 4 and a half months, but he looked bigger than the one-year-old. The one-year-old was definitely sizing Thomas up, giving him the ol' up-down. I could see it in his eyes that he was thinking, "Yeah, I could take this kid." Well, kiddo, you better get your licks in now, 'cause when all is said and done Thomas is gonna be about two times your size, and he's gonna fuck you up. Bitch.

It was also my birthday last week. Ordinarily I don't mention my videoblogging, but I edited together some videos from my birthday dinner and put them up at LUGs.com. The reason I mention it is because this one took a fucking long time to edit together with the little video editing tool that came with my camera, and it saves me from spending even more time writing about my birthday dinner. I think I need to try out something like Cinelerra. Does anyone have experience with this?

My parents gave me a Nintendo DS Lite, which is pretty awesome. My first purchase? Tetris DS, of course. As you probably know, I am a bit of a Tetris nut (Tetrinut) and so I was a little worried that this new version, as with many new iterations of old premises, would be watered down and too easy. I am happy to report, though, that Tetris DS is fucking hard. You wouldn't believe how good the computer plays in the head-to-head competition mode. Sweet Jesus.



It's about this good.

My friends also got me some great stuff. Victor got me the novelization of Snakes on a Plane. ("One plane, hundreds of passengers, thousands of snakes -- what are the odds?" the tagline asks.) I'm afraid to read it lest I ruin the ending. One thing's for sure, though, they better get those snakes off the motherfuckin' plane! Graham and Caity got me Ron Sexsmith's newest album Time Being, which comes highly recommended, and a vinyl copy of my favourite XTC album, English Settlement. Balin got me a book called Flatterland ("like flatland, only more so" -- fuckin' eh). Ray got me a kite with a picture of one of the animated versions of Batman on it. A Batkite.

Which brings me to today, when Jowen and I attempted to fly the kite at Spanish Banks. It flew, but either the wind wasn't strong enough to keep it up, or we just suck too hard. We ran around in circles over and over trying to get it to stay up. Finally we decided the only possible way it would ever work would be if Jowen pulled it along while he biked. After a failed attempt where the kite only dragged along the ground, fell apart, and got chased by a dog, he got it going pretty damn good. Unfortunately, as he let the string out, he also swung a little too close to a tree, whereupon the kite got stuck in the tree and the string broke. We tried to throw a rock at it to get it out, but we were too afraid to hit people by accident. In the end I think both of us knew all along that the experience would likely end this way, and we left the kite in the tree, figuring it to be the most artful ending to our day.

Of course, if anyone happens to be at Spanish Banks West near the Anchor and sees a Batman kite in a tree, it's mine, and if you can get it out I would greatly appreciate its safe return.

My sister also brought me some nice food from France. Typically she'll bring me a jar of foie gras, and I am always too hesitant to eat it as I don't want to waste it. Then it expires. Well fuck that -- this time, I ate it right on the spot. (Well, not the whole thing, because that's just gluttonous.) She also brought me some nice chocolates, which all melted in the crazy heat.

Speaking of which, it's pretty fucking hot around here right now. Google Weather has been forecasting highs of about 33-35 degrees Celsius for Vancouver the last three days. Port Coquitlam, being inland from Vancouver, has actually observed highs of 30, 37, 35, and 33 degrees Celsius. (In Fahrenheit, that's toofuckinghot degrees.) As a result, the whole family sort of lies around on the floor of the only air-conditioned room in the house, the living room, near Thomas' makeshift bed (a towel and a couple of throw pillows), as if it's a carpeted tatami room. I feel so Asian.