Best burns ever (Random quotes from my past, provided with some context)

me

And then there's this story about my sort-of semi-ex-girlfriend...

Other student 1

What the hell does that mean?

Other student 2

She sent you an e-mail once?

me

So yeah, that's the theory, that nothing can't be improved by either adding bacon or chocolate.

Dave

What about asparagus?

me

Bacon-wrapped asparagus, mm mm.

Dave

What about your mom?

Current Music: Jason Collett - We All Lose One Another