I have decided, with universal support from my friends (except maybe Shankar, who is vegetarian), that next year's American Thanksgiving weekend party will opt on the side of more meat, rather than less. The natural choice for the main course, then, is turducken, everyone's favourite mockery of the food chain. Unfortunately, I've found that turduckens cost something like $80 on the internet1. Well fuck that; I'll just have to make my own.
Another plan that has received support (but probably not from Dave, who is Jewish) is to wrap the turducken with bacon. I may have mentioned this to you before, but Adam's friend has a theory that no food is not enhanced by the addition of bacon and/or chocolate. Turducken must be amazing -- how could it not be, really -- but bacoturducken must be like a full-on orgasm with every bite!
So I am proud to announce (now, so that if anyone steals my idea I'll have demonstrable prior art) that next year's American Thanksgiving Weekend dinner party will be the Bacon and/or Chocolate Experiment of '07. Guests must bring dishes containing bacon and/or chocolate, which ordinarily do not contain either. For the vegetarians, soy bacon; for the Jews, turkey bacon. For everyone, chocolate. Try -- I defy you, try -- to make something taste worse than it would without bacon and/or chocolate. (However you must not intentionally ruin any dish by putting in the incorrect one of bacon or chocolate; for example, bacon ice cream or chocolate omelets will not be welcomed.) The centrepiece shall be a bacon and chocolate fondue. It remains to be decided if this will consist of chunks of bacon that will be dipped in chocolate sauce, or hunks of chocolate that will be deep-fried at the table in bacon fat, or both.
The Bacon and/or Chocolate Experiment of '07: Bite me if this isn't better with bacon and/or chocolate!
1. Ordinarily I am reticent to buy food online because I feel that it's a slippery slope which can only end in buying raw meat online, which is exactly what buying a turducken online would be. However I would readily make an exception in this case because I feel that it's really part and parcel with the turducken experience.