[Napoleon Dynamite quote]

I tried to buy Napoleon Dynamite on DVD, but they didn't have it at Fry's. But this is the next best thing:

Napoleon Dynamite soundboard

It's replenished my supply of rapidly-aging Napoleon Dynamite quotes.

Current Music: Kip Dynamite - Always and Forever

The wheels are falling off

Quoth dbrewbaker from Maine:

"Seems to have emerged fully fromed [sic], but a song has to be all about the idea and I'm not sure what that is here."

Just one of a string of terse, lukewarm reviews we've been receiving. I have a theory that Garageband keeps track of who the hard reviewers are and saves them for later rounds.

I'll be sure to, uh, make my... ideas? more transparent in my songs from now on.

Current Music: The Arcade Fire - Neighbourhood #3 (Power Out)

Your majesty...

... it has arrived.







Oh yes.

Current Music: The Arcade Fire - Funeral

w00t

Round two, here we come!

HOORAY!

I changed my mind

See you guys at practice.

Current Music: Feist - Mushaboom (still)

Thoughts from the jury box

The people vs. The Asbestos Concern - Rocky and Bullwinkle

Exhibit A

Sampyl, from Washington, DC:
"very unique sound"
Extra Credit: Originality.

LAPinc, from Ottawa:
"There is nothing original in this song"

---

Exhibit B

ekupes, from Denver, Colorado:
"Around 1:55 the vocal progression is icky"

claraengel, from Toronto:
"i really enjoyed... the laid back summery harmonies"

---

It's times like this I am reminded of the fickle nature of making music. We may as well flip a coin sometimes to determine what works and what doesn't. I tire of this: I hereby quit the band to pursue a life of simple fulfillment as a yak farmer in the mossy hills of Transylvania. Graham, Eric, Jowen: it's been fun, but alas I must roam free. I am reminded of a quote I read third-hand in a Reader's Digest in the bathroom, and cannot remember exactly: "Oh, how he wished he could ride forever with these men, but he knew their paths were only to meet for so long." Goodbye, sweet princes.

Current Music: Feist - Mushaboom

I am the sex

Asbestos Concern merchandise

Graham, you are a genius. Seriously.

I've just ordered two t-shirts.

Stop the world, Spencer Keys wins election

Once upon a time, the 432 ran an article with a headline that read something like "Spencer Keys Loses Another Election". I thought this was kind of an asshole thing to do... poor guy tries so hard. Well, 432 assholes, you can all bite me (or him) because Spencer Keys has been elected President of the AMS.

I have never actually met Spencer Keys. I doubt I have ever even been in the same room with him, unless you count the time I was walking through the bus loop and he was campaigning for one of his (losing) bids for student office. Yet I feel somehow connected to him. I view him as my counterpart in the (Adam and Jim)<->Vikram relationship. As such, I have heard much about him, to the point that I feel as if I do know him. Mind you, were I ever to meet him, I'd sure I'd freak him out with my knowledge of him and his life while he knew very little about me, excepting the rumours. (You know the ones.)

But in any case, Spencer Keys, enjoy your hero's welcome when you return from your debate tournament (see, I really do know a creepy amount of stuff about him) and before you do take a moment, in private, to let out a whoop, pump your fist, or dance around naked... whatever you so desire. You may have lost a few, but you've caught the biggest fish of all. Congratulations, sweet prince.

Current Music: Ron Sexsmith - Best Friends

Note to self

Don't forget Mike's birthday.

Current Music: Ron Sexsmith - Gold in Them Hills

Debriefing

Holiday completed in 30d

Primary objectives completed:

• Completed final project
• Got laptop fixed
• Christmas shopped
• Finish a bunch of recordings
• Re-learned how to play the guitar
• Got in touch with 70% of people I've been meaning to get in touch with
• Acquired, and consumed, several Hot & Readys, with Crazy Bread

Secondary objectives completed:

• Got in touch with 90% of the people I've been meaning to get in touch with
• Acquired, and consumed, one glass Sleeman Honey Brown Lager
• Acquired, and consumed, one pint Alexander Keith's India Pale Ale
• Saw "Ocean's Twelve"
• Saw "The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou"

Secondary objectives failed:

• Acquire, and consume, one bottle Blanche du Chambly
• Finish the last Jones in the Fast Lane song
• Find a muse, learn to write political, or find some other musical inspiration

Bonus objectives completed:

• Saw "Napoleon Dynamite" (3000 points)
• Lost less than $10 total in poker (300 points)
• Took on Elvis (2000 points)
• Made this:
  
  (10000 points)

Promotion to Commander

Note to self

Don't forget Graham and Jowen's birthday.

Current Music: Ron Sexsmith - Cobblestone Runway

Fibre fears at Irvine but kids safe, says SD43

According to the Tri-City News, "Asbestos concerns from fallen ceiling but school tested, found safe."

But fear not folks. Even though asbestos rock has been around forever and is everywhere, the asbestos concern can be mitigated.

Current Music: The Postal Service - Such Great Heights

What's Wang This Week

How can it be so hard to track down the Arcade Fire's album? I've gone to three different places and none of them have the damn thing. If I promise, cross my heart &c. to buy the album, can I listen to MP3s guilt free?

On second thought, I don't care that much.

I think I am addicted to Minesweeper Flags. Ordinarily I might crack some joke about how I could stop playing anytime I wanted but I'm starting to realize that no, I probably couldn't. What does it take to get a fuckin' intervention around here? I'm in dire need. Or at least play me.

I'm also completely in love with the new Mac mini. Isn't it cool? (I am such a dork.) Speaking of lusting after material goods, I'm considering getting one of those Arc'teryx jackets Jowen drools over so as to keep warm as well as dry. Maybe I'll get the fog coloured one, just so that Jowen will envy me.

Dennis Quaid wore a "Vote for Pedro" T-shirt on the Daily Show today. I wonder if he found the link on this blog. I sure hope so.

I once said that I am inspired to write music by bands that I hate, because I'm convinced I could do better than them. I'm now noticing that really great music has the opposite effect. Rather than spending my time trying to come up with something I'm convinced wouldn't be as good as it, I could just listen to it. Maybe I should pick up some Avril Lavigne albums, and some Three Doors Down or something. Not sure whether or not to try getting some Nickelback, as I'm having enough trouble keeping food down these days since the Great Elvis Platter Encounter of '05.

Then again, I just bought another Ron Sexsmith CD... I'll do it later.

Current Music: Ron Sexsmith - These Days

All shook up

A few weeks ago (one day before I got home, those jerks) Victor and Derek, along with Will and Ed, went to Memphis Blues and foolishly decided to take on the Elvis platter. With three of them having their appetites hobbled by exam stress, this was no contest. Elvis wiped the floor with the four of them, and how. They vowed revenge and weren't going to be satisfied until they had eaten it all in one sitting.

So, yesterday Jowen and I filled in for Will and Ed (respectively) and we went back for more. I suspected we would need a fifth, but on Victor's urging I started to really believe that the four of us could do it. We had been hearing stories about the platter for weeks, and we were adequately prepared insofar as our jaws didn't drop when we saw the thing.

The Memphis platter contains:

• Beef brisket
• Ribs
• Rib ends (or something, we never figured it out)
• A whole cornish game hen
  (EDIT, 1/15/05: This is actually a half cornish game hen, I think)
• Pulled pork
• Sausage

along with sides of:

• Seasoned fries
• Coleslaw
• Baked beans
• Potato salad

The Elvis platter contains two Memphis platters.

We got off to a good start, actually managing to eat through to the bottom of the platter in places. Pretty much everything was good, and we were off and rolling. Before long, though, cracks started to show in the armour. Jowen was the first to "take a break". Soon Victor was starting to feel it, and before too long he became delirious from all the meat. Jowen came back in but ate nothing but the side dishes, leaving the meat for Derek and me.

Before long, none of us could eat anymore, and there was still most of the cornish game hen left. We were humbled... again. Elvis 2, Lugs 0. I guess that's why they call him the King, uh huh huh. I was in some real pain. I think I tried too much to be a hero, and kept on eating well after I should have stopped. Still, I was feeling okay until that very last sip of iced tea - or as I like to call it, the straw that broke the horse's back.

All in all it was a great time, and I learned a valuable life lesson (that being "STOP EATING, IDIOT"). And with that, we bade Memphis Blues adieu and all agreed to not do it again for at least a month. Good gravy.

Current Music: The Futureheads - The Futureheads

Pedro offers you his protection

VOTE FOR PEDRO

Current Music: Ron Sexsmith - Wishing Well

Random quotes from my past, provided without context #9

"Um, I don't know if you know this, but when I was in high school I was on the all-star team for basketball.

"I had stifling defence."

-- Erik Venos

Current Music: The Postal Service - Give Up

Things at home I am really glad to be rid of #2 and #3

Thing at home I am really glad to be rid of #2: Graham's acoustic
I hate that thing.

Thing at home I am really glad to be rid of #3: Rick the Temp
I feel stupider just looking at him.

It's a small world something something

Today I found out that Jowen's friend, who I have met once in my entire life and has (probably) never met Eric or Graham or any of our former bandmates, has one of Eric's old songs on her iPod.

It makes me wonder if anyone is listening to a really bad demo of "Get Out of my Head" right now. I sure hope not.

Current Music: Hawksley Workman - lover/fighter

Random quotes from my past, provided without context #8

"Ooh! Were you frying nuts?"

-- Derek Tsang

Current Music: Sarah Slean - Night Bugs

Current status

The following are currently on my bad list:

1. Graham's computer
2. Bus fare increases
3. Poker
4. Hot Crab Xtremers

The following are currently on my good list:

1. Ron Sexsmith
2. Anechoic chambers
3. Minesweeper Flags
4. Faresavers

I have now completed from my itinerary:

1. Laptop is fixed
2. Finished Christmas shopping (obviously)
3. Re-learned how to play the guitar (well enough for now)
4. Gotten in touch with approximately 70% of the people I've been meaning to get in touch with
5. Acquired, and consumed, several Hot & Readys, with Crazy Bread

Richard out.

Current Music: AC Newman - The Slow Wonder

Random quotes from my past, provided without context #7

"FUCK!

"COCK!"

-- Graham Pollock

And that...

... is the last time you will see me get so personal on my blog.

At least for a little while.

2004, recounted in the form of the most memorable meals of the year

12) One More Sushi with Frances and Paul, February

This was the first time I had gotten to break bread with Frances and Paul in several years. In the next three days, I got food poisoning, got accepted to Berkeley, and they got engaged.

How was it? Well, I probably got food poisoning from it, so I dunno. But it seemed good at the time.


11) Gotham Steakhouse with the Math Club exec, May

A huge get-together, replete with formal attire and very very fancy food. This was the first of the two 24oz porterhouse steaks I had in two consecutive days. I guess this was my formal farewell to the Math Club. It might've been a huge pain in the ass sometimes - well, no, it was a pain in the ass sometimes - but I learned a lot and met some great people. (And got a few free meals out of it too.)

How was it? Of the two 24oz steaks, this was the better of the two. Top notch.


10) Boston Pizza with Graham and Eric, July

This was the night I found out Eric knew Jeff Zipp and subsequently had to restructure the whole tree I have in my head of who knows who. Well, I guess it's actually a graph, but whatever.

We had just finished a night of recording and were kicking back. Somehow it was memorable. I really enjoyed the easy camaraderie we had (and have), and this was probably the first time I realized it.

How was it? Come on, it's just Boston Pizza.


9) Boston Pizza with my family, July

I think this was the first meal I had post-gum surgery. My sister had just gotten married. I was only able to chew on the back two teeth on the right side, and the taste of everything was affected by the bandages. But still, it was a family dinner, and far more relaxed than the reception.

How was it? See above.


8) Red Robin with Victor and Jowen, May

Exams were finished and we didn't feel like cooking or something. Even though we had many more meals before this and a few very memorable ones after this, I remember this one because this was us in our element, relaxed and in a burger joint.

How was it? I love that sweet onion burger, I tells you. This might have been the last one I ever got, too.


7) Sui Sha Ya with Jim, Graham, Ian, Ed, and special appearances by Jowen, Janek, and Joyce, July

This makes the list due to the sheer amount of pain that followed. Never allow unseasoned all-you-can-eaters to order at an all-you-can-eat. Notable mostly for the sheer volume of food we consumed, and the crazy schemes we hatched to try and dispose of the food so we wouldn't get charged.

Also notable because this was the day I got the Richform hat, and because it was (almost) my birthday.

How was it? Painful. But good.


6) Steamworks with (almost) everyone I know, August

Everyone was there, and paid for me. It was a very nice send-off for me and I appreciated it a lot. At the time I was starting to feel anxious about the big life change I was facing, and this was just what I needed. Thanks, Thomas, for planning it.

Also notable because Jowen made me 45 minutes late.

How was it? Well, I think they tried to shoo us out of there, so minus 5 points for that. But still, not bad.


5) Chicken curry in my kitchen with Leah, April

It was over between us and we knew it, but we still had some good times left in us. We used to cook together, and this was what ended up being our thing. I don't remember a whole lot about it, to be honest, except that I cut the potatoes too small and we had plenty of chili peppers. Mostly I remember this air of finality, this sort of unspoken acknowledgement that this was it; this would be the last one.

We had plenty of meals before and a few meals after that, but this is the one I remember. Funny how that works.

How was it? Uh, I cut the potatoes too small. Not our finest, but not bad.


4) Pizza Hut with Graham, Eric, and Jowen, August

This was our final get-together of the summer. We did plenty of recording and I'm proud of it, but I think I remember best the crap we did between and after takes. I really enjoyed the easy camaraderie we had, and was glad we finished it off with food rather than any stressful recording.

How was it? Greaseballicious.


3) Jeremiah's with Jeremy, Thomas, and Galen, April

All the stuff I did for the club was made so much easier by these three guys, and I wanted to treat them to some drinks and dinner. We went out and watched the Flames beat the Wings, and just generally hung out. The end of an era.

For all the pomp and circumstance of our trip to Gotham, I prefer to think of this as my last Math Club event. Again? Definitely.

How was it? I remember some good appetizers, and a decent burger. Mostly, I remember darts, which increases the quality of the food at least 20%.


2) Uncle Willy's with Victor and Derek, July

Derek visited for a long weekend, and this was the first time we really got to get together with Victor. I mean, the food was Uncle Willy's food, but it was comforting to see that no matter how much things change, we'll still be able eat a whole lot of marginal food off of plastic trays and make it better with conversation. When Derek had said his goodbyes, I felt really uncertain about what was to become of the Lugs, and wondered if we would ever really see each other again. This meal made most of that go away.

How was it? Well, they had three kinds of meat. But avoid the sunomono at all times.


But all of it takes a backseat to...

1) Morton's at Chicago with Victor, Derek, and Jowen, May

The most extravagant meal I have ever had, and probably will have for the next 4 years. This was our goodbye dinner, our signoff after years of living together. We planned it for months, and when it came time to do it it was perfect.

And what a story. This was my second 24oz porterhouse in two days, and by the end I was feeling it. Jowen needed to take a nap. Victor was going to explode. Derek, with his infinite wisdom, ordered a smaller steak and rubbed it in as we were all in pain.

After all that time together I somehow felt very fraternal towards these gentlemen. We had to go big: there was no other way to say goodbye. Although, it was also decided that the food court in the Village was more our speed, and our reunion dinner would be there.

Of course, the whole "goodbye" effect was dulled by Derek moving back to Vancouver. But still.

How was it? Don't order the steaks medium-rare, because their "medium-rare" is a sane person's "bloody", and that's just too rare for a 24oz porterhouse. But there was the best dessert I ever had.