"when you're low it's either wave that flag or stand there empty-handed" -- Molly Sanders

I'm skipping town next week to go home for a holiday until the end of August. So, if you want to hang out there, let me know.

When the time comes to move back home for a holiday, I get to looking around my apartment and realizing how much tidying up I have to do -- and how much food I have in my refrigerator. I tend to be a packrat, and unfortunately that extends to the fridge: I have all manner of half-full jars and bottles in there that get stuck behind other half-full jars and bottles, so I just lose track of the whole affair and wind up with too much food that I need to consume before my subletter moves in. Among other things, I have a few cans of club soda and half a jar of raspberry jam. I also had no juice left, and was thirsty.

It hit me: what if I put a spoonful of jam into a glass of club soda? That would be perfect! It would be fruity and sweet, but not too sweet like pop. I had never tried it, but it seemed like it couldn't fail. How could it fail? Those are two pretty well-understood ingredients right there. Then I got to wondering why more people don't do this, because it makes such perfect sense.

At the same time, though, I couldn't help but feel like this is a totally ghetto thing to be doing. Jam and club soda is a little too reminiscent of hobo sweet-and-sour soup (ketchup and mustard with hot water). It made me wonder if this is something that a truly poor student would do.

In my office there's a leftover bag of tortilla chips from the department picnic, two months ago. This bag was enormous and it's still half full. I say "still" because every so often Daniel and I will take a handful out and munch on them. Conventional wisdom suggests that these chips would be gross and stale by now, but they're still light and crunchy. These chips refuse to die. I take handfuls out thinking how fortunate we are to have this neverending bag of eternal chips, proud of myself for saving the $1.25 it would cost to get a baggie of corn chips.

But as I sat there munching away, I looked at my station in life. My peers are making loads of money and getting married; meanwhile I sit in my office eating two-month-old chips out of a paper bowl. I won't lie to you: I felt pathetic. "Maybe I'm low and don't have the manners to realize why we should just throw out those chips", I thought to myself.

But maybe I'm just practical. We're pretty lucky to have these chips, you know, and really, they still taste good. And it's fulfilling the triple purpose of feeding me, saving me money, and not wasting food. Why wouldn't I eat them?

It's the same with the jam and club soda. I just tried it, and sure enough, it tastes great. There are seeds at the bottom, sure, but I just ate those too with a spoon. Steve tells me this is a disgusting idea, and part of me agrees. But the rest of me just drank a refreshing raspberry soda, and can't help but wonder why everyone isn't doing this. Why aren't you doing this?