Monday, June 04, 2007

When you wake up feeling old

I got absolutely nothing done last week on account of a case of food poisoning that kept me out of commission for the whole week. There is a small possibility that I gave this food poisoning to myself, but Adam and Brad convinced me that it's quite difficult to food poison oneself, particularly for someone of a fastidious nature like myself. So I will continue to blame this sketchy Szechuan place with ridiculously bad service in the 99 Ranch. (Shankar also had some stomach discomfort the next day, but Shankar is one to make to such claims. I'm going to assume they were for real though as this would show that I'm not just sissier than everyone else at our table.)

Two days in, I was feeling quite a bit better so I got a burger for lunch. This was a poor idea. Ordinarily after two days, I would be basically raring to go already, but not this time. Oh man that burger did bad things to me. I suppose it's time to face it: I'm not the young buck who would shrug off a stomach bug in a day or two anymore. I'm getting old. I'll be 25 soon, which is exactly mid-twenties, not like this 24 early-mid-twenties shit.

You know what makes me feel especially old? People who text. A friend once asked me why I didn't follow her instructions; it turned out she had texted them to my landline. Oh, look at you, all texting and shit. Pull out your cell phone and call someone -- oh, no, you're just texting. And more power to you. Just know that I will never be one of you.

Not that I mind text messages at all. I think it's a great idea, and certainly very practical when someone's in a meeting or something. No, I just don't think I can text. I feel like texting is something that people younger than me do, you know? People whose first game system was an N64, those are the people who can really text. People my age text, but we're not very good at it. Watching us type out a message on a cell phone is like watching our parents type at a computer -- all hunt and peck, all "oops where's the backspace". It's something we weren't brought up with. But people younger than us, they can do 40WPM on those little keypads. They have a command of shorthand that I imagined only secretaries from the 1950s had. It's ridiculous, I'll never be able to compete with that.

(I have written exactly one text message in my life. Adam texted me from a meeting once with a small typo: "I'll be a little tate". I responded: "Me tuber". Again, I have nothing against texting, I am happy to receive them, and one day I will probably write a few myself. However, this one was good enough that I'm content if it's the first, last, and only text message I ever compose.)

On the flipside, you know what makes me feel young? Blackberries. (Not the fruit, the cell/e-mail pocket contraption pioneered by Jim "Bals" Balsillie's company Research In Motion, with the little QWERTY keyboard.) I feel like the Blackberry is something that people older than me have, mostly because their work makes them carry one. People younger than me won't need them, because they can already read their e-mails on their cell phones and write them out on the keypad. Fancypants.

I suppose people my age who have more money than me also have Blackberries. Blackberries also make me feel poor.

Current Music: Rufus Wainwright - Going To A Town

8 comments:

Vincent said...

Everyone in Tokyo texts. I ride the subway almost everyday, and half the people on the train are texting--from kids to old ladies. Heck, I prefer texting even in situations where I can talk on the phone. It's more convenient than playing phonetag or checking voicemail. _Feeling_ like you can't do something doesn't make you old, but rejecting something new as belonging to the younger generation does.

Blackberry is a euphemism for corporate leash.

Vincent said...

Oh and I miss In-N-Out. My only options here are "Freshness Burger" and "Moss Burger." Yeah.

regan said...

here here. my sentiments exactly. haha that's an awesome first/only text-message :D

regan said...

or rather i guess it would be hear hear?

xpal said...

i love blackberry curve! you should buy it! btw, 23yo here. hehe

Anonymous said...

Wang, stop your damn whining about how old you're feeling. You've accomplished more than most people your age, and your bitching is making me feel like shit because I have done comparatively nothing. And now I feel like more of an ass because I let your whining make me feel like shit.

You woman.

Travis

Dickolas Wang said...

Vince: I think the inability to do something that young people can do makes you old. I suppose I just have a more pessimistic view on aging than you do. Also, please don't say "burger", please. Also, how fast can you text?

Regan: Who are you agreeing with, me or Vince? Or both? And how fast can you text?

xpal: My cell phone is the cheapest brick phone I could buy. Also, the 0 key and the second menu key don't work so well. This should indicate to you how willing I am to buy a Blackberry Curve. Also, how fast can you text?

Travis: Eat me.

regan said...

I'm agreeing with you, Richie :P Have you SEEN my cellphone: it's the same one I've had for the past SIX years.