Random quotes from my past, provided without context #40

My mom's milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. And she's like, "I'm married, y'all. So I'm not interested in a relationship."

-- Mike Higgins

Current Music: The Shins - Turn On Me

Note to self

It's Peter's birthday.

Current Music: The Manual - Orbit

And why is there a team in Phoenix

After watching the first period and the scores of the Leafs beating the Habs to eliminate the Habs last and remain in the playoff race, only to watch Ryan Smyth's Islanders eliminate them this afternoon, I could do nothing but marvel at the situation. Now, instead of having four Canadian teams in the playoffs, there are three, and one almost wants to say "Thanks a lot, Leafs".

But then one must also say the same to the 2006 Cup Finalist Edmonton Oilers, too, who managed to destroy not only their own playoff chances by trading Ryan Smyth to Long Island, but indirectly the Leafs' as well. So thanks a lot, Oilers, for immolating not one, not two, but three Canadian teams.

And in the end I guess the Penguins will not move to Winnipeg.

Go Canucks go.

In conversation with Dickolas (Random quotes from my recent past, provided with some context)

me:

She was never really willing to understand me, I think. Like, for example, she really didn't like the Math Club, refused to get to know people there.

Travis:

Nobody likes the Math Club, Rich.

Moorea:

So does this mean you're not going to have fun for the next month?

me:

Yeah. But, you know, I've been thinking of giving up fun for a while anyway.

crowd:

[laughs]

me:

I mean, it's fun for a while, but...

Rachel:

What does the box for the Wii look like?

me:

Well, it's white, it's about this long [gestures], this wide [another gesture], and this deep [another gesture], it has a picture of a Wii on it, and it says "Wii" on the side.

me:

We will see each other Friday, yes?

Rachel:

Yes!

me:

Okay, great.

Rachel:

That is my only plan for the week that can't be broken if [extenuating circumstance]. You're special.

me:

Aw shucks. Now I feel bad that you're not more special than my bowl of ramen noodles.

Current Music: Crowded House - Fall At Your Feet

A testament to poor eating

Since I've been back in Berkeley things have kicked into high gear. I have to do my qualifying exam in a month, so I have a lot of prep to do. Simultaneously, I also wish I was still on Spring Break. Thus, I have very little time or energy to devote to cooking.

Fortunately, Safeway had mandarin oranges (well, Clementines, but who cares) and Giants- and A's-themed sacks of peanuts: perfect nosh for a guy like me. Mandarin oranges for an easy-to-eat sweet-tart pick-me-up, and peanuts for my upbringing in a blue-collar suburb.

Unfortunately, I bought a 1.5kg bag of salted peanuts, which I'm realizing now is a lot of peanuts. Also, I already had a few oranges lying around from my last box of oranges, which by now are all shrivelled up and/or moldy, so I had to eat those first. I took the biggest bowl I own and started eating peanuts and throwing the shells into the bowl. Later, I dug into the oranges and threw the moldy ones into the bowl, and the peels of the ones that weren't so shrivelled up that I wouldn't eat them with them. The next day I added another layer of peanut shells and two more orange peels and one more moldy orange. One more layer of peanuts today and the bowl was full.

My first thought was not to empty the bowl and start over, but to pour in alternating layers of green jello and cream until it formed a trifle. I thought it would be a conversation piece... a testament to poor eating. But then I thought that perhaps aspic would be a more appropriate choice, since the peanuts were salted. Also, the orange layers were too thin compared to the peanut layers.

In the end, I emptied the bowl and started over. I was hungry.

Oh, heli!

Ah, to be young again.

Note to self

Figure out if Brad's birthday is actually on April Fool's, or if he's just making an April Fool out of everyone who believes it.

Current Music: The Jayhawks - Save It For A Rainy Day