Wednesday, October 12, 2005

What kind of lover are YOU?/What animal do YOU remind me of?/What were YOU doing five years ago?

I haven't done any of these in a while.

First up:



The Slow Dancer
Deliberate Gentle Love Dreamer (DGLDm)

Steady, reliable, and cradling her tenderly. Take a deep breath, and let it out real easy...you are The Slow Dancer.

Your focus is love, not sex, and for your age, you have average experience. But you're a great, thoughtful guy, and your love life improves every year. There's also a powerful elimination process working in your favor: most Playboy types get stuck raising unwanted kids before you even begin settling down. The women left over will be hot and yours. Your ideal woman is someone intimate, intelligent, and very supportive.

Your exact opposite:
The Hornivore

Random Brutal Sex Master
While you're not exactly the life of the party, you do thrive in small groups of smart people. Your circle of friends is extra tight and it's HIGHLY likely they're just like you. You appreciate symmetry in relationships.




ALWAYS AVOID: The Battleaxe

CONSIDER: The Maid of Honor or The Sonnet


Link: The 32-Type Dating Test by OkCupid - Free Online Dating.


Next:



Write your name and

  1. I'll respond with something random about you.
  2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
  3. I'll judge your oral hygiene on a scale of 0 to squeaky clean
  4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
  5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
  6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
  7. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
  8. If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal. You MUST. It is written. (But not by me, so go ahead and let it die out.)


Finally:



10 years ago I was: Wondering what the deal was with Big Country's weird balding pattern

5 years ago I was: Giving up hope in the Grizzlies

1 year ago I was: Bitching about how much the Grizzlies sucked

Yesterday: was Day 2 of Turkey Leftover Week

5 snacks I enjoy: ham; Lucky Charms in 2% cream-top organic milk (thank you Trader Joes); half a Hot 'n' Ready; the little kids meal thing with a Baby Burger and three onion rings from A&W; ham

5 songs I know all the words to: Happy Birthday; Undervolt (finally); Trogdor; Pearl Harbor Sucked and I Miss You; Helicopter; and wow I don't know the words to about 90% of the songs in my collection

5 things I would do with 100 million dollars: Buy a WHA team and name it "The Vancouver 1989 Edmonton Oilers"; hire people for a large Edmonton Oilers smear campaign (fucking Oilers); and with the remainder of the money I would do two chicks at the same time three times

5 places I would run away to: Toronto; Calgary; Seattle; SFU; Mike's basement

5 things I would never wear: My "Jowen Was Here" thong. I'll wear just about anything else for a laugh

5 favourite tv shows: Smallville (sadly); The Daily Show; Family Guy; Good Eats; everything else I can pick and choose the best parts from on GorillaMask.net the next day

5 bad habits: Facial tic; making old man noises and pissing Jowen off; eating Jowen's sandwich; checking for comments every 15 minutes; checking blogs that are not my own for comments every 15 minutes

5 biggest joys: Guitars; food television; internet humour; internet porn; ham

5 favorite toys: This computer; my old computer; my laptop; my old old computer; the internet

5 fictional characters I would date: (grown-up) Stephanie Tanner, everyone else takes a backseat to sweet sweet Stephanie Tanner

5 people I tag to do this: Whoever the top five people on my links list are right now, I'm too lazy to check

Current Music: Wolf Parade - You Are A Runner And I Am My Father's Son

44 comments:

G said...

This post is a tad disturbing. I know it's all true though.

M Rexin said...

since when did you become a 13 year old girl? j/k

Jowen said...

This isn't quite what I expect from a Dickolas Wang post. Stick to old material please.

The Hornivore, that's too funny.

Dickolas Wang said...

What, I'm branching out, man. Man's gotta grow. It has some DW hallmarks too, like the title.

thea said...

apparently you tagged me. Does that mean I have to do it?

Anonymous said...

Cameron

That's my name. Now tell me those things.

If you do this I promise to stop lurking and comment once and awhile.

Yours truly,

Cameron

rachel said...

Rachel

Dickolas Wang said...

1) You have a LJ stalker
2) Hungry Like the Wolf, I don't know why
3) Pearly off-white
4) How the hell does one get toilet paper stuck coming out of their pants like THAT?!
5) I came into the Math Club and there you were, freshly joined, and already commanding an audience. I thought you were going to be a big jerk. Fortunately for us all, that wasn't the case
6) A wolf, and now I realized why Hungry Like the Wolf reminds me of you. It's because of your wilderness photos on MSN. That or a butterfly
7) Exactly how well do you know Brad? Are you, like, good buddies, or just random acquaintances from high school pressed together by convenience?

Dickolas Wang said...

1) You are currently obsessed with Sigur Rós
2) Sta alfar (ichoo ewwooooooooo)
3) Crestfully Clean
4) I don't care if she is a robot, she's hot
5) "I don't like touching strangers!"
6) A stuffed tiger (i.e. Hobbes)
7) How do you keep on sleeping through your jobs? Do you, just, not use an alarm clock or something?

Jowen said...

Special Ed

The Fed Ex of Funk said...

I can't believe I'm putting this out there, but remember the last year of the show when Stephanie Tanner got boobs? Man, that was disappointing. I know these things take time, but she went from 0 to 0.001 that year, and then she was gone. I wonder how they turned out...googling... I still can't tell, but see for yourself: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Jodie-sweetin-pics-002.jpg

chibijoyce said...

joyce

Graham said...

Graham

Li'l Devilangel said...

Amber!

Dickolas Wang said...

Special Ed/Jowen:

1) You react poorly when deposed from any position of video game superiority
2) Anything ethnic
3) Minty fresh
4) [clears throat]
5) You and Victor playing Jones with me and Derek, while Erik subtly tried to get rid of all of us so he could sleep
6) A turtle. A very apathetic turtle
7) How many times do you wear your socks typically before you wash them? Be honest now.

dinning said...

Jim


On another note, while you, Richard, and I have had our disagreements over Stephanie Tanner, I will say this: Stephanie's all grown up. http://www.jodiesweetin.net/images/wedding/childstars030.jpg

Dickolas Wang said...

Joyce:

1) You can't eat spicy foods. At all
2) Just about anything in Japanese
3) Zestfully clean
4) That's funny, because I'm suffering from TMI
5) You with a bandaid over a cold sore
6) A squirrel. A Chinese squirrel
7) What would you do if you got stuck teaching high school and you kept getting mistaken for a student?

Dickolas Wang said...

Graham:

1) You have inverted nipples
2) The Crying Game
3) Utilitarian
4) This is a bad idea! (in a non-changed-yet voice)
5) You gave me paper and I ate it
6) That dog from those old cartoons that wore the glasses and taught the other cartoon boy stuff
7) How do you know all this shit?

Dickolas Wang said...

Amber:

1) You have the vocabulary of a poet but know when to keep it in check
2) Barbie Girl
3) Whiter than white
4) That wasn't chicken.
5) BOYZ and JESUS
6) Fleshy, Monty's hairless cat
7) What happened to the other person Graham leased blog space to?

Dickolas Wang said...

Jim:

1) For the whole first year I knew you I think you were wearing a Sonics jersey
2) "Michael" by Franz Ferdinand
3) Another pearly off-white
4) I heard it from Jay
5) Meeting you in the bathroom at Riverside and you mentioning how you hated being stuck with the short urinal, saying that your wiener was practically higher than the top of the urinal
6) A bear, but not a big bear, because that'd be Ian
7) Where the hell is your soul?!

Dickolas Wang said...

And yes, little Jodie Sweetin is now grown-up, hot Jodie Sweetin. As if there was ever any doubt. More info is available at Your One Stop Jodie Shop (thanks Graham).

Thomas Nguyen said...

Thominic

Dickolas Wang said...

1) You're both cuddly and reliable, thus combining the best aspects of a teddy bear and a Toyota Camry
2) The Aristocrats
3) Aqua-Fresh-tastic
4) The pain in the ass that is [name edited out to protect my ass]
5) Me pointing at you and saying, "Oh yeah. That's right," and you being the first person to actually just roll with the punches
6) A cow, because if I had to consume a whole cow you'd be the first person I'd ask to help
7) Where is all your rage going? Do you have, like, voodoo dolls of everyone you hate that you immolate every week or something?

M Rexin said...

Matt Damon!!! I mean Matt

M Rexin said...

I hope the song is Black Magic by Reb Beach

Graham said...

I'm a little bit disappointed that the song you associate with me isn't "Hotel California".

Caitlin said...

Caitlin

The Fed Ex of Funk said...

Dave

Anonymous said...

Do me Wang.

Sincerly,

Always,

Travis Tanner

Divyesh said...

div

Stevie K said...

Stevie K

Dickolas Wang said...

Matt:

1) You tried to convince me that Ninja Gaiden was a more important video game than The Legend of Zelda
2) that song "Messenger" or whatever by the Tea Party
3) Green Scope
4) Hey, this game is fixed
5) I'd see you around the hallways and I always just assumed you'd be one of those guys who I'd never have cause to speak to ever
6) A bear, one that I'm constantly afraid will lose its temper and punch me in the shoulder not knowing its own strength, thus causing me injury
7) What made you think it was a good idea to buy a guitar at a department store?

Dickolas Wang said...

Caity:

1) You have a shirt that says "DELAWARE" right across the front
2) anything by Avril Lavigne
3) recommended by 9 out of 10 experts
4) watching Full House after turning 20
5) The first time I met you I did a double-take because you looked exactly like Graham, only with a ponytail
6) A cat, because of your stupid cat
7) Did you or your mother make those soaps in your basement bathroom? I like those soaps.

Dickolas Wang said...

Dave:

1) You have never eaten ham
2) Jamiroquai's "Canned Heat"
3) Oral B-tacular
4) I think I'm even better looking today
5) We were going to In-N-Out and you had a skateboard, and I thought you were like 27
6) A pig, because you don't eat them
7) What's your stance on Natalie Portman, yay or nay?

Dickolas Wang said...

Trav:

1) You and your cohorts stole the nicest picture of me that ever existed from the Little Shop of Horrors bulletin board and wrote "DICK WANG" across the top, thus (unknowingly) ruining my plans to give it to my parents
2) George Harrison's "I've Got My Mind Set On You"
3) Yellow Listerine
4) She loved a large pizza last night
5) After being openly mocked for my lack of knowledge of basic Newtonian mechanics, I ran into you in the bathroom and you made me feel much better by saying, "That girl was a bitch!"
6) A puma. I don't know why. Probably because I think you would say the word in a funny and memorable way
7) Do you have any pictures of Fat Paul?

Dickolas Wang said...

Divyesh:

1) You hire young tech grads at low low pay and seem very proud of that
2) Ever since I heard about your all-expenses-paid trip to find a wife, anything Bollywood
3) Two-stripe Aqua-Fresh
4) The addresses of all of your clients' porn sites
5) You were saying something about how kids go to juvenile hall, not prison
6) A bear
7) What's it feel like to make money?

Dickolas Wang said...

Stevie K:

1) You had to repeat PE 10 three times, but apparently now your calves are as big as mine
2) Most Nine Inch Nails songs
3) Squeaky clean-
4) The camera adds 10 pounds
5) I got some burn in on you and you shot back with "What the hell happened to your face?"
6) A hamster, or a dog, or an ewok
7) Does your mother still think I'm a Triad?

The Fed Ex of Funk said...

Reactions: I've never intentionally eaten ham, but I have mistakenly taken some bites. Fucking chicken cordon bleu. And the fucking Finnish lunch line for just calling it "chicken". That... that wasn't chicken. As for Natalie Portman, I mean generally yay, but it's not my place to covet the Fake Doctor's future wife, and she was frankly sort of annoying in some of the interviews she gave. Not that she isn't a pantheon babe among Jews. And not that she isn't a light unto nations. And not that it bothers me that she was doing body shots at a water polo party when she and her water polo boyfriend were visiting his water polo brother at Stanford freshman year. Or that my water polo friend and physics homework buddy didn't bother to tell me about this party until after the fact. No, everything's pretty much hunky-dory.

Stevie K said...

Reactions:

1) It is precisely BECAUSE I took PE so many times that my calves are as big as yours. Why don't YOU try doing square dancing for three straight years?
2) TERRIBLE LIE!
3) Better than fuzzy yellow.
4) So what's 10lbs + 3.5kg? Do the math.
5) You didn't get a burn in on me. I just flat-out asked you what was wrong with your face. So what is wrong with your face?
6) All fine mammals.
7) I had totally forgotten about that thing.

GOC said...

Ooo..Ooo.. Me...Me...

err.. Victor

Dickolas Wang said...

1) A bunch of people were talking over dinner about how you could infer a lot about someone's mother just by talking to him/her, and you said, "Like whether they drank during pregnancy." Immediately, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I had to become your friend
2) The Tuxedo
3) 8
4) "... like dirty old men"
5) I was helping Graham move into the basement and I saw you, running down the hallway in only a towel holding your shower stuff, yelling, "You bastard!" and Erik said, "What are they doing down here?"
6) Sea urchin
7) What did Jowen's hair smell like?

Divyesh said...

Reactions:

1) Yup, sad thing is so many of them took the offers. Too bad I quit.
2) sweet
3) I'd say 7.5/10
4) Oh the list, it was so big.
5) I don't even remember.
6) Interesting.
7) It feels good, damn good.

regan said...

Reggy!

Dickolas Wang said...

Regan:

1) There's a roundabout near your house but I've only managed to get around it about 4 times fully, and three of them were on the same visit
2) "Escaflowne: The Movie" was on Adult Swim a few weeks ago and I thought of you
3) Three-stripe Aqua-Fresh
4) €€€€€€€€€€
5) You were in the Math Club doing some homework and I was like, "She looks normal. What's she doing here?"
6) A mouse, but not one of the gross ones, one of the adorable ones, like the ones from "The Rats of Nimh"
7) Considering what a pain in the ass I was in class, why do you still speak to me?